8/13/2016
Abba Yahuah mighty, terrifying, glorious, strong and wonderful creator of the universe and all that is in it. I was listening to a study and they mentioned how thankful we as your people should be but in truth I admit that I forget more than I remember. But I don’t ever want to forget what you did this last week. It really takes my breath away of the fact that you listen to me. Abba Yahuah I am nobody my every breath comes from you. You can take it away just as fast as you gave it and if you did I would fully deserve it. For most of my life I walked contrary to your ways, I said I loved you, I said I knew you but I was just fooling myself. I still don’t know you the way I would want to, I want to love you I want to do the righteous things but I keep getting pulled away by my fleshly self. So addicted to TV drama that depicts violence and hatred and not truth and love. Holding onto past hurts even those from decades ago.
I wanted to praise you Abba for the protection you gave when the Clayton fire went through Lower Lake. It pains me that they want to take away the call to worship of the shofar it is such a lovely sound especially if played right. And in the process of trying to praise you I broke down crying, crying over past hurts at the church I grew up in and how little they helped in a time of dire need. Past hurts of having our neighbor set our home on fire, past hurts of the close relationship us kids had growing up but no longer have due to betrayal, favoritism, money, or whatever. How do you do it Abba? How do you love people that hate you? I just don’t understand I really don’t understand how?
There are so very few of us that truly love you the way you want to be loved. Who are we that we think we have any right to tell you how you should be loved! Shame on us! We are but dust formed into life and will return back to dust guaranteed, who do we think we are! We transfix on the 10 commandments like they are the end all of your love language yet they don’t even scratch the surface. You can call your Ruach back at any moment and there is NOTHING we could do to stop it! We truly are pathetic!
Abba 7 days ago to the moment that I am writing this there was a man that was filled with evil intensions, unholy ways, and demon interference setting my neighborhood on fire. Why or what reason the demons used to convince him to do such a hideous thing only you know. For you know every word, every deed, every thought that goes through everyone ever created. I thank you Abba for your battle cry of the shofar while I admit I was hoping beyond hope that you could snuff out the flames instantly that was not what happened. You however did hear the call, did send your warrior angels to protect us but more than us you protected my entire neighborhood. Not one structure was harmed! Just the landscape that will grow back when the rainy season comes upon us. The bubble you placed around the homes in my neighborhood just amazes me. While it pains me that so many lost everything material, I can relate because I too lost everything when I was a child, I know what it is like. Almost 4000 acres burned and almost 300 building destroyed and Lower Lake is such a small town. I cry for those that lost so much. But I thank you that there was no human lives lost.
For my memory Abba I need to recall the last week, the fire started, my husband who was resting on Shabbat came out and asked if there was a fire than he smelled smoke. I go outside and I see the smoke, it looks like it is in my neighbor’s back yard (which it wasn’t) but it was close. I get a flash image in my mind to send the battle cry and blow the shofar. I grab the shofar and go outside and blow as hard as I can over and over crying out “not again Abba, please not again, make the fire stop, please make it stop, put out the fire please put out the fire!” My husband is frantic telling me that the sheriff wants us evacuated. Evacuation is not where my focus is I believe you Abba can put it out but you need to hear the cries of your beloved ones. I call my pastors wife who I got the number to that day and in tears cry out that our neighborhood is on fire please send out a prayer chain and ask Abba to put the fire out. I get off the phone with her and call other fellow believers that I have the number to and no answers. At that point I go back inside the house and look for what I value most…surprisingly very little I grab my scriptures, my shofar, my menorah, some clothes, and cat, dogs and chickens and load them into the cars. I grab my jewelry box which has my wedding ring and family heirloom necklace. I grab my new moon journal. Again so few things do I hold any value to. We load up the animals and stuff and drive to the end of the street away from the fire and park and wait and I get out and I start praying again “please Abba put the fire out” for hours we wait there by evening we drive back to our home and see the fire moved around our neighborhood and up into the hills we watch the flames burn knowing we can do nothing but pray. The next day around noon the fire trucks move out of the area within hours of that the fire starts up again and this time heads over the other hill straight into lower lake the town. My neighbor tells me to call my “church” I call for a prayer chain again this time asking you Abba to stop the wind. I am watching the fire burn, watching the smoke from its destruction white then black as it consumes that which lies in its path. I see in my mind visions of Yahusha telling the wind to be still and it obeying. And so I do the same telling the demon controlling the wind to stop, my neighbor says maybe if you say please and I say I will not use please with a demon they are nothing more than little twerps, bullies, and don’t deserve a please they just need to listen and obey! Within a few hours of that the wind calms down and the firefighters are getting an edge on the containment thanks to you Abba Yahuah. So I am very grateful for that. As you know we chose to not evacuate out of the area, some because they fear looters, and myself because I feared that if I wasn’t there that it would mean I wasn’t trusting you to protect us, and I did not want you to think that. In the end Abba you turned your ear to my plea for the arsonist to be found and within 24 hours was he found but he confessed to 16 other fires that he started. Thank you for turning your ear to hear me Abba, I know you did so because of your kindness and love and mercy and goodness and really not because I earned your ear for you and I both know I fall short of your standards so often. Please hear my humble request Abba and help those that lost livelihood or possessions and help them through these hard times.
I do love you and I strive to learn to show you that I do.
Forever Yours.